Dec
22
2010

Surviving Church Burn Out: Reconnecting with the “Perfect” Church

An article by Ed

A former pastor of mine used to say, “When you find the perfect church, don’t join it. You’ll only ruin it.” That advice rattled around in the back of my mind when I began trying to reconnect with the church after my burn out.

Could I find a church that lived up to my ideals?

Over the past eight years, I’ve had to rethink the church. And then I had to rethink my rethinking of the church. At some point in the next eight years, I may have to do another rethinking.

Much like a book or a magazine article, one draft rarely does the trick. It usually takes three or four revisions before putting together something useful, and I’m pretty sure that recovering from church burn out works the same way.

There will be false starts, mistakes, and wrong turns.

And if you can bear with me for another metaphor, when we have a bad break up with church, it’s tempting to run after another church that is the exact opposite. And sometimes entirely new churches have been planted in reaction against a supposedly “bad” church.

I used to dream about finding this perfect church that’s led by the second-coming of Paul. And in these churches everything will be amazing, encouraging, biblical, and free from conflict. You know, since all of the churches Paul led were amazing and free from conflict. Well, except for the Galatians. And of course the Corinthians. Come to think of it, the Romans had a pretty rough time as well…

There is no perfect church.

While stepping away from church and ministry in order to heal for a period of time has been difficult, the even more difficult part is figuring out positive, redemptive steps forward that will reconnect with physically present Christian community. Here are some things I’ve been learning in my current revision:

Ask God What’s Most Important

Since there isn’t a perfect church, you need to find the place where God wants you to be. It may be a living room full of Christians, a small church, or a huge old cathedral. Ask God to reveal what’s most important, and seek out a place with a similar emphasis.

We tend to meet and serve God in different ways. Christian community isn’t all about ourselves and our experiences, but it does help to seek out people who have a similar revelation of God.

For example, part of my healing process has been a deeper understanding of the Holy Spirit through my wife and in-laws. That means I can’t attend or serve in a church that isn’t comfortable with listening to the Holy Spirit, hearing the Spirit, being lead by the Spirit, or acting in the power of the Spirit. That immediately rules out certain churches since I don’t want anything to interfere with the work God is doing in me.

Don’t Jump Right In

If you’ve been burned out by church or ministry, step in with caution and focus on getting to know the people in your community. It’s often easier to serve with others once you get to know them, so invest your time in worshipping together and getting to know one another first.

Chances are that you’ll react against certain things as you try to connect in a new community. It will take time to readjust and figure out what you think of everything. Certain things may grate on you. Don’t expect everything to feel right immediately.

Keep Hoping

If you’re going through a rough season of burn out or frustration with the church, keep hoping. There are Christians all over the place who have either gone through similar experiences or who can empathize with you.

It’s hard to find a community of Christians after wearing yourself out in one of them. However, keep in mind that God isn’t done with you, me, or the people in your former church. He’s doing good things in all of us, even if sometimes we can only see a half empty glass.

Jesus will build his church. The Holy Spirit isn’t burned out. I pray that wherever you’re at, you may find a community of Christians who can support you in your walk with the Lord.

We all need community, especially because none of us are perfect.