Jul
28
2011

Learning to Disagree

An article by Matt

Earlier this week I spoke about the sickness that we currently see in our political system as well as many of our churches. Since that post I have been struck by two different conversations that I think go a long way in helping us to be able to disagree well. The first came from Zig Ziglar’s podcast on the Importance of Relationships. Zig starts off by talking about how we can never really develop a relationship with someone that we feel we are superior to. Whether that superiority stems from racism, sexism, intellect, age, or theology, a true relationship will never form with one who we feel superior to.

I think we all need to take a moment to think through that… it is something that I have been soaking on all day. How many of our relational issues stem from our own pride telling us that we are better than the people who we try to convert to the “right” way of thinking.

The second conversation was a video from The Gospel Coalition on how to disagree:

While I am a little uncomfortable with Matt Chandler’s comment on the other person not having the relationships that he has, I am willing to let that go as me not fully understanding his point, but I agree wholeheartedly with the idea that relationship is key to being able to disagree well with someone. Two other points that I found to be worth soaking on… both via Tim Keller (on whom I have a well documented man crush):

The internet is the friend of information, but the enemy of thought. I think that there is a great deal of truth to this, and even though the internet is here, and here to stay, we need to figure out how to be more thoughtful in the way we disseminate and react to information.
Being careful to not assign a position to an opponent that he will not own… even if you believe it is the logical conclusion of their thought. I think that this is huge, so often in an attempt to discredit those who disagree with us we paint the bleakest picture imaginable about the “logical conclusion” of their opinion. This convinces them that you are not really interested in their thoughts… just in being “right”.

What I did not hear much of during the conversation was how to disagree in public with someone with whom you have no relationship with. It seems that this happens day in and day out, both in the church world and outside of it. Is there a way to do that well? Or do we rely on others in the lives of those with whom we disagree with to handle that? The Rob Bell kerfuffle comes to mind… I would love to hear your thoughts on that.

How do YOU ensure that you disagree well with others?