Leaning into I AM
On Friday I shared a little about the way our pride can take control and cause us to take matters into our own hands. The danger of writing about these things is that you begin to think through how it applies to your own life.
During the course of our classroom conversations on Friday, our professor reminded us that the main character of the book of Genesis is God. We love to say that the main characters are Adam and Eve, Noah, Abraham, or Joseph.
But the truth is that the main character is God working his purposes through them.
Theoretically, this is a fantastic thought. When reading through the book of Genesis through the lens of the entirety of scripture, this can be an incredibly comforting concept.
But in the midst of the messiness that is our day to day life, it can be a little different.
From time to time I have shared a little bit of the struggle that Theresa and I have had to have children. This has been a difficult journey for us, especially after having our third miscarriage in April. While many would hear our story and encourage us to adopt, throughout this entire journey we have continued to sense God promising us a full-term baby.
And this is where it gets tricky.
As we research the options before us and develop a better understanding of the reality of our situation (our ages place us squarely in the high risk pregnancy department), every fiber of our being says adopt.
And yet, we are convinced that the same God who is the agent of change in the book of Genesis is saying to us “I will grant you the desires of your heart.”
It is times like these that I totally understand our inclination to not trust God and take matters into our own hands.
It is these times that I need to rely on the lens of the entirety of scripture and realize that our Creator works His purposes in ways that I may never fully understand, and He has not failed me yet.
It is at these times when I need to fully lean into the idea that “I am not, but I know I AM¹” and let God do those things that only he can do.
When do YOU most struggle with letting God be God?
¹Stole that line from a book by Louie Giglio.